Usually in this case you didn't mean to do it or if you did it was in the heat of the moment and you said things you did not mean. Sometimes you can be completely unaware of how your actions are affecting someone else and so when you are informed that it is in a negative way and it bring you down pretty damn quickly.
I think for me I try to make sure I am aware of some of the bad habits I have that are usually the reason for causing aggravation. As I've got older I've grown and changed and become far more aware of who I am and where I want to go in life. I'd like to think that most people will try to mature and highlight their positive qualities and reduce the negatives. This is certainly what I attempt to do and aim to always be respectful of others.
The one thing I tend to find that confuses others is my sarcasm. I have been sarcastic for a very long time and it's something I picked up as a child. My sarcasm tends to affect those closest to me as those are the people who understand my sense of humour and are least likely to get offended. When people first get to know me it probably takes a while to grasp that no I am not being serious when I answer 'no' to pretty much any favour you ask. (Case in point; "can you turn the light on?" "no" *still get's up and turns the light on*).
For as long as I can remember I have been sarcastic and it's not something that's really likely to change. The one thing that has is my awareness that not everybody 'gets it' and so in those cases I do make a very conscious effort to tone it down.
Ultimately my sarcasm is not a reflection on anybody else but myself, it's definitely a self defence mechanism (think Chandler from Friends and that's pretty much me) and I never purposely offend anyone. Yes I will have banter and I am not stupid enough to think that that doesn't sometimes cause offense. But the people I have that banter with should be able to approach me if I have crossed a line. Same as any good friend; if I have upset you then I want you to be able to tell me. Obviously it will upset me as I don't aim to hurt others but I would rather hear it, process it and then learn from it!
I am who I am, I strive to be the best that I can be but I won't change for anybody and I shouldn't have to. Always try to think about what you are saying and make sure that you are approachable should someone have an issue they want to raise with you.
But don't change for anybody. Be you, you are unique and there is only one you in the entire world.
xox
ps. I leave you with a clip from one of my favourite shows...
There's nothing wrong with sarcasm; I've used it before and will continue to do so, but like you, if someone finds it too much I'll listen to them. I tend to avoid using it around people I barely know, as I prefer to gauge someone's humour level before being sarcastic (although I find small amounts of it useful as a part of the gauging process).
ReplyDeleteI agree that you shouldn't have to change, or at the very least, not pretend to be something you're not for someone. :)