Make a wish, take a chance, make a change

The best laid schemes o' mice an' men , Gang aft agley.
(The best laid schemes of mice and men , Often go awry.)
Taken from Robert Burn's poem, To A Mouse

 

I thought I'd start with this quote as it's the perfect introduction to the topic of this post.
It does not matter how much we plan something it is almost garunteed that it will not go exactly as the plan lays out.

There are always things which could change at the last minute and you cannot plan for every alternative event that might happen. If you did this, you would never have time to actually partake in anything you were planning! Thats not to say that plans are bad; they can keep you focused and are definitely needed. But you have to be flexible to.

 

Change is something that people often discuss; there are people that absolutely loathe change perhaps for the fear of the unknown and whats to come. Others love it and embraceit whole heartedly; it's a chance for new beginnings and adventures.

I feel a mixture of both of these things; without changes we would do the same thing day in day out which I find boring, but some changes are scary and unwanted and can turn our life upside down.

 

I have learnt a lot from changes that have occured in my life and there is probably a lot more for me to learn. Something I have slowly began to except is that sometimes it is necessary for you to change. If you aren't happy with something then maybe it's time to start dealing with it. It's never easy and it can be extremely daunting. Whether it be something you need to change about yourself or a situation needing to change, do your best not to be afraid of the outcome. Respect yourself enough to know that you don't have to be unhappy, it's okay to make a change to head in the right direction.

 

I leave you with one of my favourite songs.

xox

 

 

 

That awkward moment...

The phrase 'that awkward moment when' has blown up in the past year, covering all forms of social media, television and conversations between friends and colleagues. At first there were some true 'awkward moment' stories and then slowly people began to overuse the phrase or describe things that alas were not awkward as the word seemed to begin to lose its meaning.

 

I'm sure most of us have had those moments or witnessed other people's. It's never fun when it's happening and tends to be a moment when you inwardly want the ground to swallow you up. But they do make for pretty interesting stories afterwards. Sometimes funny but sometimes the complete opposite.

 

At present I cannot think of any funny examples of my own only ones that were truly awkward and unpleasent else I would share one and try to make this a bit more light hearted!

 

For me you have to take what you can from these awkward moments, if it's a funny one then laugh it off and move on. If it was something more serious; bumping into an ex, being overheard by a person whilst you are talking about them then take heed. Bumping into an ex could be disatrous if things endly badly or just are no longer friends. Hold your head high and do as you were doing. If you are overheard talking about someone, then perhaps you should be addressing any issues to that person. If that is not a viable option then be a little more discreet next time!

 

I shall leave you with a link to MTV's comedy 'Awkward' a rather funny and quirky show based around Jenna; a girl unfortunate enough to consistenly suffer from awkward moments. http://www.mtv.co.uk/shows/awkward#368219

xox



Sarcasm, defensive not offensive.

Hearing that you have upset someone or annoyed them is never nice (well if you're a decent person that is!) but it is especially horrible when it's a friend or family member.

Usually in this case you didn't mean to do it or if you did it was in the heat of the moment and you said things you did not mean. Sometimes you can be completely unaware of how your actions are affecting someone else and so when you are informed that it is in a negative way and it bring you down pretty damn quickly.

I think for me I try to make sure I am aware of some of the bad habits I have that are usually the reason for causing aggravation. As I've got older I've grown and changed and become far more aware of who I am and where I want to go in life. I'd like to think that most people will try to mature and highlight their positive qualities and reduce the negatives. This is certainly what I attempt to do and aim to always be respectful of others.

The one thing I tend to find that confuses others is my sarcasm. I have been sarcastic for a very long time and it's something I picked up as a child. My sarcasm tends to affect those closest to me as those are the people who understand my sense of humour and are least likely to get offended. When people first get to know me it probably takes a while to grasp that no I am not being serious when I answer 'no' to pretty much any favour you ask. (Case in point; "can you turn the light on?" "no" *still get's up and turns the light on*).
For as long as I can remember I have been sarcastic and it's not something that's really likely to change. The one thing that has is my awareness that not everybody 'gets it' and so in those cases I do make a very conscious effort to tone it down.
Ultimately my sarcasm is not a reflection on anybody else but myself, it's definitely a self defence mechanism (think Chandler from Friends and that's pretty much me) and I never purposely offend anyone. Yes I will have banter and I am not stupid enough to think that that doesn't sometimes cause offense. But the people I have that banter with should be able to approach me if I have crossed a line. Same as any good friend; if I have upset you then I want you to be able to tell me. Obviously it will upset me as I don't aim to hurt others but I would rather hear it, process it and then learn from it!

I am who I am, I strive to be the best that I can be but I won't change for anybody and I shouldn't have to. Always try to think about what you are saying and make sure that you are approachable should someone have an issue they want to raise with you.
But don't change for anybody. Be you, you are unique and there is only one you in the entire world.

xox

ps. I leave you with a clip from one of my favourite shows...

Listen...

So I just saw somebody use the hashtag #timeofthemonth on twitter and it reminded me of an incident a few weeks ago (don’t worry there is no graphic details of periods, and yes I did write periods and no there is nothing wrong with saying or writing it, get over it!) where me and some friends were say chatting in public about random things such as breastfeeding and the weird and wonderful stories we had heard about such things. Some guys were sat near us and my friend indicated to me that they were listening in, I glanced over my shoulder and noted some horrified expressions as well as clear amusement from the lads.

You can learn so much just by listening in on peoples conversations even if it’s just people gossiping about so and so calling so and so fat, you can’t help but listen in and in your head often get involved in the conversation. I know it’s not just girls that do this (see above) and sometimes it is really difficult to hold your tongue. For me sometimes the worst thing is when people are discussing something and one is so adamant they are right about something even when you know they are a thousand and ten percent wrong. I find it so hard not to interrupt and put them right, mostly fear of getting a “who do you think you are butting in on our conversation” response keeps me from saying anything! You never know who you might end up offending!

But I do think you can learn a lot just through listening and although I might waffle on sometimes I have also spent time trying to refine my listening skills. There is so much you can learn from another person’s experiences and opinions and therefore I think everyone should take more time to really listen to what someone is saying to you. Once you do this you begin to learn some of the unspoken things they are trying to get across to you to.

Never be ignorant enough to think only your voice should be heard. Listen to others and you might just learn something new.  

xox

When you're happy like a fool, let it take you over...

Unfortunately I am a natural worrier; I over analyse most situations, I plan trips away pretty extensively and usually have contingency plans just in case things go wrong. These characteristics automatically lend to being more susceptible to panic/anxiety attacks and I am just so lucky to be a sufferer of these (note the sarcasm there).

Panic attacks do not come at convenient times and everyone is different in how they deal with them. For me one of the best things to do is to hum or sing to myself the famous ‘Favourite Things’ song from The Sound of Music. I’m not sure when I started doing it or why but it tends to calm me down on most occasions; I’m guessing through a mixture of distraction and the rhythm of the song calms my fast heart beat. It’s not really about the lyrics of the song although these are pretty chirpy.

There are two songs that I love listening to whenever I am feeling concerned or anxious and that however is because of their lyrics. One is Labrinth’s Let The Sun Shine and the other is Onerepublic’s Good Life.

Good Life reminds me to make the most of everyday and that even when I’m frightened, terrified or just a little uneasy about the future and what’s to come as long as I do my best and put effort into all I do then that’s all I can do and what will be will be.

Remember to live each day to the full and appreciate all you have.

 

xox

 

No road travelled will you ever travel alone...

Friendship; it's something I've thought about a lot this year. People often mull over what makes a good friend, what qualities they like their friends to have and what are the best and worst things a friend can do.

I am lucky in that with my closest friends I can trust them. I know I could tell them anything and they would not judge me or laugh at me. They would listen and give advice and they would be prepared to tell me when they thought I was out of line. This works both ways and I will always support my friends through thick and thin, give advice when it's asked for and be a shoulder to cry on.

I've debates with family before about whether you can be good friends with somebody you do not see very often i.e if a friend moves away or has a child and cannot see you as often. For me if you were close friends before the seperation I believe you can stay close friends. It is not about the quantity of time spent together but the quality. If you had to spend large amounts of time with someone to be a good friend to them then we would never have friends for very long as inevitably things change and time can become restircted or the geography of it becomes more difficult.

There are many qualities I strive to be as a good friend and I look for the same in the friends I have. As I have got older I am lucky to say I have met some incredible people and have come along way from being in school. There will always be bitchiness and fights and you can never get along with someone 100% of the time but it is the way in which you go about disagreements that can make a huge difference to a friendship.

Everyone will have different perspectives and opinions and I love discussing with people what they require from their friends (and girlfriends/boyfriends). Overall for me; trust and honesty. I need to trust you and you need to be able to trust me. I always want you to be able to be honest with me and vice versa.

I love my friends and some are family to me; through the good times and bad you are there for one another. I hope you know just how much I appreciate you, respect you and love you.

xox

Overcoming fear, leap of faith...

This year I finally took the bull by the horns and booked a trip awaty to America... without any family or friends going with me. I decided I wasn't ready to travel alone but there are so many places I want to visit and didn't want to wait until I had the courage to go solo. With that in mind I booked with a company called Trek America. Brief description of them is they are a travel company whereby they offer a variety of trips in America and Canada with various routes for various lengths of time. You travel in a group with a Trek Leader who drives you on the route in a Trek van, you camp at night, share cooking/cleaning duties and mostly importantly visit some of the most incredible places in America.

I wanted to write a post about this experience because I learnt so much through it. Not only did I gain an education on some of the most interesting places in the states but I learnt a lot about myself.
I took part in White Water Rafting in Ocoee and it was such an adrenaline rush but there was more to it than just overcoming the general concerns of a 'extreme' activity. I am a complete non-swimmer but also have a fear of open water (stemming from being a non-swimmer and nearly drowning when I was young). I love things that get your adrenaline going and knew I wanted to do the rafting but wasn't sure if when the time come I'd be able to step up and do it.
When we got to Ocoee I was pretty damn scared to put it nicely and was beginning to regret signing up for it. But with support from the group I donned a helmet and life jacket, grabbed an oar and hopped on the yellow bus to take us to our start point.

It was amazing! We had the best guy in the raft with us as he knew the rapids inside out and made sure we never fell out but still had an awesome time. I still feel now such a huge sense of accomplishment to know that even thought I was terrified I faced my fear and took part.

The rafting is just one example of the things I learnt about myself; I can face challenges and work through them. I can be confident, I just have to trust my instincts and do the best I can.
My point is really that if I can do it, you can too.

xox