Moving On

Moving on from something is often far easier said than done. There are often complications and like everything, emotions play a big role. It's near impossible to stop yourself from feeling something you don't want to.

People will often tell you 'steps' to moving on; steps on how to grieve the death of a loved one, steps to move on from a divorce, the best way to get over a friend or relationship. There is some great guidance out there but there is no perfect way that fits everyone and every situation.

I feel it is important to make sure you are not staying in the past and refusing to move on. Memories are great and discussing old times reminscing about favourite places or jokes you had with someone can all be fantastic. But always dwelling on these can't be healthy. Making new memories and connections with people are important too. Learning about yourself and the world and having new experiences. These are the things I try to focus on when I feel sad about the past.

If you are struggling with moving on from something, talk to a friend or family member. No doubt someone will have been through a similar situation and have every empathy for you. Sometimes people may not have come to you when they know you are sad because they don't want to say the wrong thing or make something worse. Don't feel you are alone, approach people and show them you are still yourself but are just healing from something.

Time is the best healer. It is good to remember what was, but don't forget to be an active participant in the here and now.

xox

Negativity spreads like wildfire...

I have witnessed so much negativity these past few days and to be honest I'm tired of it.
When I was in New Orleans I went on a vampire tour (stick with me here there is a purpose to this annecdote!) and the lady giving the tour talked about different kinds of vampires. She discussed vampires that steal another person's energy. She also said that we most likely no people that are as such and do not know about it, those people who you feel like it takes a whole lot of effort and energy just to get through one conversation.

 

 I found this concept really interesting at the time and have been reminded of it again recently. If you only ever look for the negative that is all you will ever see. Some events in life are of course terrible and will take a long time to move on from, but eventually you will heal. I'm not saying it is easy to be positive. But in being positive it creates a knock-on effect. You can inspire the people around you and help them reach their potential. Just as negative energy can pass and bring people down, positive energy can spread and boost people up.

 

I think that people sometimes forget the effect they have on others or maybe don't realise. Use the effect you have in a positive way. Don't be the person to drain your friends, family, colleagues of energy. It's okay to lean on people for support and to be sad or upset. But if you view everything in the world in that way then that's not a good things for you or others.

 

Think about how easy a smile can spread. Try it, smile at a stranger. The ripple effect will start, they may smile at someone, hold a door open or give up their seat on a busy train for someone who looks like they may need that little rest more. You may just make someone's day that bit better.

 

xox

Snow is falling, all around me...

As the snow falls all over England people have very varied opinions. There are those who detest it and any amount they find awful. There are the people who revel in it; immediately going outside to build snowmen, sledge and just go for a walk to appreciate the beauty of it.

For me I love how gorgeous it makes the scenery. I also love the peacefulness it brings. But I do appreciate the dislike for it as it can make travelling dangerous. This year mains roads where I am have been gritted well and clear of the snow which impressed me as this has not been the case in previous years. My local streets however can be a menace to drive on and put me off driving in this weather. But the show must go on just as the snow is still falling now. 

I saw a post earlier from a charity which in essence was reminding everyone to think of others. I'd like to do the same and remind everyone that if you have elderly neighbours, perhaps offer to clear their front path or take food round. It can be difficult to get around in this weather if you already have less mobility and it's the simplest things that can make the biggest difference. If there is someone in the community who you think could use a hand, offer it. 

One last reminder; if you are driving make sure to clear your car fully. If you leave snow on your roof people behind you will end up with chunks of snow flying at their windscreen as they drive which is distracting and dangerous. Make sure you take a blanket, water, food and a shovel with you in case you get stuck somewhere.

I am glad to have been reminded of the beauty that is right on my doorstep and hope that everyone manages to enjoy this weather even just a little.

Stay safe. 

xox

Music makes the heart sing

I could write endlessly about music that I love. There are so many songs which inspire me daily and I could probably write a blog post on each of them but instead I thought I'd keep to my usual short and sweet style.

 

I don't have a particular genre I love and I try to listen to a wide variety of music. My ipod is literally the most random collection of songs, I have everything from Taylor Swift to Eminem. My eccelectic collection of music is reflected in artists I have seen live. My first concert was Kelly Clarkson and since then I've seen Kanye West, Linkin Park, Miley Cyrus, Pussycat Dolls, Lady Gaga, Neyo and my absolute favourite Coldplay. The atomosphere was electric and I was buzzing for days afterwards. They drew the crowd in and made 20,000 people inexplicably happy that night. For me music can reflect exactly what you are feeling and help you to alter your mood should you need to. 

To conclude this post I thought I'd take some lyrics from songs I absolutely love and link to some videos. There are some inspiring quotes which put me in a better mood instantly and remind me that life's there for the taking.

 

"We live and we learn to take one step at a time, there's no need to rush, it's like learning to fly or falling in love. It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen and we find the reasons why, one step at a time" One Step At A Time - Jordin Sparks

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller, doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone. What doesn't kill you makes a fighter, footsteps even lighter. Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone" Stronger - Kelly Clarkson

 

I love the chorus of this song...

 

 

I especially love the intro to the song...

 

A true classic...

 

There were so many more I could have included! Let music inspire you and remind you of everything you can be. I am a true believer that a bad day can be soothed by a simple melody.

 

xox

2013 has arrived

Six days into 2013 and I am finally writing my New Year's blog post. As always there were the facebook status', tweets and discussions all surrounding New Year's resolutions. What people had loved or loathed about 2012 and their hopes for 2013.

 

I am not one to make resolutions but I do look back over the previous year and try to take what I can from it and use this to guide me in the year to come. I find resolutions have a stigma surrounding them; the same resolutions made each year only to be broken or given up on a few months in. I tend to steer away from them because of this. Ultimately it is each to their own, no one should be judged if they choose to set resolutions and there is nothing wrong with having goals to work towards.

 

For me personally however I am trying to use the new year as a reminder to follow the four important L's: Live, Learn, Laugh and Love. As I said this time of year often brings a period of reflection. I can learn a lot from 2012 and am not too proud to recognise the mistakes I made. I hope I have grown enough not to make those same mistakes and to use my accomplishments to boost my confidence as I strive to live life to it's fullest in 2013.

 

A happy new year to everyone. Let's make it a good one.

 

xox

The Gift of Giving

I'll start by saying Happy Holidays, for me this means celebrating Christmas! I love the festive season because dispite all the things that put me to the brink of losing my temper (no parking spaces anywhere, traffic worsening, people who stop dead in front of you in a really busy shop causing a tidal wave of people bumping into each other etcetc!) there are so many things which remind me how amazing humankind really can be.

 

Small acts of giving seem to happen in far greater quanties. It's not about the money, the value of the gift is in the sentiment behind it. Whether it's a card with a meaningful message written inside or a simple hug love can be shown in the the least costly ways. People often think about others far more at this time of year as the holiday season can be a reminder of the ones we have lost, the ones who are fighting personal battles and the ones who have simply been forgotten.

 

This year when you celebrate with family and friends remember those who may not be as fortunate as yourself, take a moment to send postive vibes or prayers for families grieving, for those who are facing a daily struggle. Hug your loved ones and tell them how you really feel about them. The most most precious things in life are your loved ones.

xox

Changes and Inspiration

It was my Birthday recently and this got me thinking about how much has changed since January.

It has definitely been a year of highs and lows and I really do feel as though I have grown up and learnt a lot. There has been great loss and sadness and this has brought with it strength and determination. I have been inspired by the courage my friends have had in dealing with things they did not deserve to go through and were completely unexpected.

Things were put into perspective and one really good friend of mine has definitely reminded me to appreciate what you have and although there are times when you do need a good cry, lots of chocolate and cuddles, you do not have to wallow in your sadness and that the best thing to do is move forward in the best way you can.

It is almost scary to think about how different things in my life are now from January. How relationships have changed and evolved, although there have been some dissolutions there have also been brand new friendships which have grown incredibly strong.

I value my friends and what they teach me about myself and life. This year has been humbling and definitely one to remember.

xox